No Fairy Tale
by Pumpkin Hatching
Summary: Set after graduation. SLASH. Just some Draco/Ron/Harry *wholesome* threesome fluff. Why have love triangles when all three of them could be happy with each other? Right? This is just something absolutely smutless and angst-free. ^_^v


Disclaimers: I own nothing but the plot (or the lack of it...erk). Everything else belongs to JK Rowling.  
  
Pairings: Draco/Ron/Harry  
  
Summary: *SLASH* Set after graduation. Just some Draco/Ron/Harry *wholesome* threesome fluff. Why have love triangles when all three of them could be happy with each other? Right? Anyways, just somethink silly. ^_^v  
  
A/N: Ack, I seem to be all for Absolute Anti-Angst lately... too much crap in real life has forced me to retreat into a world where all is happy-happy; hence, I'm writing a happy-happy fic!!! ^________^;;;;;;;; I just hope nobody flames me for this... I know love triangles are an excellent plot device sometimes, but I just can't handle writing complicated dramatic stuff right now... hence something fluffy.  
  
Enjoy!!!  
  
============  
No Fairy Tale  
============  
  
[From Unknown Omnipotent and Omniscient Point-Of-View:  
---All Hail The Almighty Author]  
  
There was nothing much to tell about how the three of them got together. No whirlwind courtship or romantic escapades to boast about over family reunions; and despite Harry Potter's heroism, there wasn't a grand fairy tale to narrate the start of their relationship, either.  
  
Anyway. There *is* a story to tell, even though it's not all that passionate nor grand. I said there's *nothing much*, but there still *is*. So, are you listening, or not?  
  
Ahem.  
  
So there they were, three best friends and one rival (not quite their friend... but the word 'enemy' seems too childish and harsh now, since he *did* help their side in the war effort, so much so that when it was all over, he was also considered to be one of the Wizarding World's heroes). All of them were 18 years old (except for Harry, who's 18th birthday had yet to come in a few weeks), fresh out of Hogwarts and on the train ride home; ready to face the world as fully trained magical adults (Dear God, but how the world wasn't ready to face *them*! --but that won't come until the later chapters).   
  
Draco, who was disowned in his sixth year for refusing Voldemort, was now homeless and living off what money he managed to save in his own Gringotts vault before the estrangement. He'd been spending his holidays at Hogwarts and his summers at the Leaky Cauldron, but also knew that it was too costly--not to mention impractical--to continue staying at the inn for the rest of his life. What he needed now was a nice flat he could rent at a reasonable price to call his home. He sat at the Senior Prefects' compartment, fiddling with his Head Boy badge as he stared at nothing in thoughtful silence.  
  
Ron, poor Ron on the other hand, was all but being forced to move out of The Burrow because the twins decided to use his Chudley Cannons-plastered room as their new Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes lab without first asking for their younger brother's permission. He sat in sullen silence (in the same compartment as Draco--Ron was a prefect), staring out the window as the scenery passed by them.  
  
And then there was Harry. He sat by the window in the same compartment as both boys (though he wasn't a Prefect they let him sit there anyway; this was one of the rare few moments that he enjoyed the title, "Boy Who Lived and Eventually Got His Own Way"); his place was across from Ron, beside Draco but as far away from the sneering blonde as he could manage--the space between them filled with Hedwig's cage and Draco's carry-on.   
  
Harry frowned slightly as he considered his predicament. The Dursleys have all but kicked him out of their house by the end of last summer; not that he would've wanted to stay anyway-- he'd have hexed his relatives to oblivion if he stayed at that hellhole called Privet Drive any longer! Harry was on his own now, yet he didn't exactly feel like living alone (he loved his newly-pardoned godfather dearly, but both felt that he was too old to start living under his roof).  
  
Ah, smart readers. So you *do* know where this is going!  
  
Ron and Draco snapped out of their respective reveries as Harry started to mumble under his breath. Hermione the Head Girl dragged her eyes from her book to raise an eyebrow at him.  
  
"What was that, Harry?" she asked.  
  
No response but more quiet mumbling.  
  
"Harry!" Hermione snapped impatiently.  
  
Harry startled and blinked at her sheepishly. "Yes?"  
  
Hermione and Ron rolled their eyes simultaneously, while Draco quietly looked on with mounting amusement and curiosity.   
  
"What's so interesting that you started to hold a conversation with yourself, mate?" The redhead asked, grinning.  
  
Harry blushed. "Er..."  
  
Draco snorted softly from his corner.  
  
"Shut up, Malfoy." Chorused the Dream Team.  
  
The blonde youth stood up and rolled his eyes. "I wasn't even saying anything," he drawled, turning to make his way out of the compartment door.  
  
"Where are you going?" Ron asked curiously.  
  
"To the loo, not that it's any of your business where I go." Was the cold reply before the door slid shut completely.  
  
"Git," Ron muttered.  
  
"Heard that, arsehole," came the faint reply from retreating footsteps outside the door.  
  
Hermione gave an unlady-like snort.  
  
With Malfoy gone, Harry began to outline his plan to both his best friends.   
  
Ron, having no idea where else to go, was thrilled with the idea of going to live with his best friends.  
  
Hermione liked the idea, but had to refuse. She told them that her parents were against the idea of their only daughter living with two males, even if they're nothing but her best friends.  
  
Harry frowned thoughtfully. He understood her parents' reasoning--Ginny was all but a sister to him, and he and Ron surely wouldn't want *her* living with her friends Creevey and Finch-Fletchley...  
  
The dark-haired boy told them that Hermione's refusal left them with a little problem, however. He and Ron were still going to need a third person to live with them in order for Harry's plan to work. Cost-division was more affordable with three people than two.  
  
Then Draco Malfoy came back through the door.  
  
Harry's head snapped up, his mind going a mile a second. Something of his thoughts must've shown in his eyes because Ron suddenly shrieked in horror.  
  
"Oh, no. Nonononono. NO." Wide eyed, he stared at his best friend in disbelief, shaking his head frantically.  
  
"But Ron," Harry whined, "you kn--"  
  
"NO! No bloody way in fucking hell!"  
  
"Language, Ron!" Hermione snapped from her corner, wondering what both her friends are on about.   
  
She looked from Ron, who was pale and still shaking his head; to Harry, who had that determined look in his green eyes; then to Malfoy, who had an eyebrow raised in bewilderment.   
  
Realization dawned when Harry flicked a glance at the blonde, then at the redhead, and Hermione clamped a hand to her mouth.  
  
"Y-you can't be serious," she stuttered, looking at Harry like he was barking mad.  
  
Harry sighed, a bit exasperated. "Who else, then?"  
  
"Dean?" Ron suggested.  
  
"Neville or Seamus?" Hermione said.  
  
"That Ernie from Hufflepuff or even Finch-Fletchley! But surely not--"   
  
"Nobody else," Harry interrupted mildly, "We really don't know Ernie that well, but I heard he had plans to go to overseas for some post-graduate Herbology exchange program." The corner of his lips slightly quirked up in a smile as he continued, "You know very well you can't stand Justin for more than a minute, Ron. May I remind you, you think he's a bit of an idiot?"  
  
"How about the rest, then? Neville? Dean? Seamus?" Ron asked rather hopefully.  
  
Harry shook his head. "Neville's Gran wants him to stay with her. You know there's no chance of Neville ever changing the old lady's mind. As for Dean or Seamus," here Harry sighed, annoyed. "They're good friends of ours, Ron, but the whole of Hogwarts knows damn well that they're insatiable and bloody *horny* most of the time! May I remind you again that it's all you can do most of the time not to kick them out of our own dorm room?"  
  
"But we can make them use silencing spells!" Ron said desperately, "think about it, Harry! If both of them come live with us, the costs get split between four people, one more person than you originally planned!"  
  
"Yes, but Harry does have a point, Ron. The costs will get split between the four of you, but it's not worth the aggravation of dealing with their rampant hormones." Hermione butt in, hesitantly. "You don't want to repeat that incident where you walked in on the both of them in your closet, do you?"  
  
"Or that time both of us literally stumbled upon them *ahem* in the staircases to the dorm?" Harry added.  
  
Hermione nodded, "Or that time we bumped into them in the library, doing the same thing?"  
  
"Or that time Seamus had himself and Dean handcuffed to the door of the Quidditch changing rooms? We couldn't get through until they finished!" Harry reminded Ron, who was starting to turn as red as his hair.  
  
Draco gave the three an odd look from his corner, a suspicious pink stain gracing his cheeks. He leant back and opened a book to get lost in, deciding to stop listening before the blush threatened to make him as red as Weasley's hair.  
  
"Or that time they 'accidentally' ended up on your bed?" Hermione continued, enjoying the redhead's embarrassment.  
  
"Or all those times their voices echoed off the boys' showers...?" Harry added, archly.  
  
"Or all those other times their voices echoed off the *girls'* showers...?" Hermione smirked.  
  
"Or what about---"  
  
"ALRIGHT, I get the point!" A beet-red Ron yelled, covering his burning ears.  
  
Harry and Hermione snickered.   
  
Ron, still blushing, cleared his throat. "But there has to be *someone else*...!"  
  
The green-eyed boy sat back and crossed his arms against his chest. "I'm out of ideas. Who else do you think?"  
  
"..."  
  
Harry turned to smile at Hermione. "Any suggestions?"  
  
She bit her lip and thought. "Any Ravenclaws?"  
  
"Nope. We don't know any of the males that well."  
  
"Females?"  
  
Harry cringed. "Please, no. You're the only female I'd be comfortable living with, aside from Ginny. The rest of them look at me like I'm some sort of duck on a platter."  
  
"The Ravenclaw males look at you that way, too." Ron rejoined, snickering.  
  
"So that rules out all the Ravenclaws." Harry concluded, shuddering.  
  
"How about someone who's already graduated before us? The likes of Wood or...?" Ron trailed off, desperate to talk Harry out of what he's currently thinking.  
  
Harry sighed and shook his head. "Oliver's already settled, so is everyone else we know. Ron, there's nobody else. You wouldn't want to live with a total stranger, would you?"  
  
"But what you're suggesting is a thousand times *worse*!"  
  
"At least you know it won't be anything like a crazed fangirl or a sloppy flatmate." Hermione pointed out, ever the voice of reason.   
  
Ron gave a defeated sigh. "Fine. But I won't make the offer. It was *your* idea, Potter. You speak Parseltongue; talk to the snake. But do it when I'm not around, will you?" He added with a grimace, furtively glaring in an oblivious Draco's direction.  
  
Harry coughed, but nodded. "Alright. Later, then," he got up and made for the door.  
  
"Where are you going?" The redhead asked his best friend's back.  
  
Rolling his eyes, Harry answered in a droll tone, "To the loo, Mama-Ron."  
  
Draco briefly looked up from his book and snickered softly.  
  
"Shut up, Malfoy!" Chorused Hermione and Ron.  
  
Making sure the compartment door was closed behind him, Harry shook his head and chuckled quietly, "deja vu."  
  
***  
  
Later that afternoon found the Dream Team saying brief goodbyes at the King's Cross Station.  
  
"Take care, both of you!" Hermione said, giving them each a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "I'll be seeing you at Diagon Alley in a few days. Good luck convincing the devil, Harry." With a final smile and wave, she was off with her parents past the barrier.  
  
"You sure you don't want to come home with us, mate?" Ron asked seriously. "You don't have to stay at the Leaky Cauldron, you know?"  
  
Harry chuckled. "There's no room for me to stay, and we both know that, Ron. You'll be sleeping on the couch as it is! I should be asking *you* if you're sure you don't want to stay at the Leaky Cauldron with me."  
  
Ron grimaced. "But *Malfoy* will be there. If you manage to convince him to live with us, then I'd rather spend as much of my remaining days Malfoy-free."  
  
Green eyes twinkled as Harry grinned. "If you say so, mate. I'd better get going. You sure you can manage to go home by yourself?"  
  
Ron snorted and took out his portkey. "I'll be fine. I wonder why they didn't bother to pick me up this year, though. I know Mum would like to be here, if only to see how you're doing."  
  
Harry shrugged and began to walk away after a brief wave. He suddenly turned, distracting Ron from the process of activating his portkey. He called out over the distance, "Your whole family's most probably been busy preparing you a surprise graduation feast! Notice how they called Ginny home a day early? All your family, including your aunts and cousins will be there!"  
  
Ron's eyes bugged out, and his indignant shout of "HARRY, YOU BLOODY PRAT!" was cut off as the portkey tugged and whirled him home.  
  
The dark haired boy stood for another moment to stare at the spot where his best friend was, with a mischievous gleam in his green eyes and a distinctly Slytherin-ish smirk on his face. "Oops!" he snickered sarcastically, then turned back, pushing his trolley and Hedwig towards the barrier.   
  
The owl gave a disapproving hoot from her cage.  
  
Harry hadn't stopped smirking. "I know, that was mean. I ruined a surprise. But he'll thank me later when he finds out that the twins were thinking of spraying him with their new invention at the same moment the family yells 'SURPRISE'!"  
  
If owls could frown, Hedwig would have.  
  
He shrugged. "It's for the best, believe me. Nobody would want to be sprayed with Yacking Yellow Yicks at their own party, now would they? I'm just being a friend!" Harry smiled at her winningly. "I prevented him from being transfigured into a life-sized yellow rubber chicken that can only say 'yick' and 'yack'. See? It was downright nice of me to warn him!"  
  
Hedwig grudgingly conceded the point with an annoyed hoot.  
  
Harry's smile widened. "Good girl! I knew you'd see it my way."  
  
The exasperated owl rolled her eyes.  
  
===  
TBC  
===  
  
Next chapter: In which the Parselmouth approaches the Serpent--erk, Dragon. Reptile? Whatever! Both have scales! ^_^ Well, Draco *doesn't* have scales, literally. Aw, forget it. You know what I mean. *giggle*  
  
A/N: This is my first time writing a threesome fic... I'll keep the rating to PG or PG-13 (the latter, to be safe, methinks)... all fluff, eh? ^^; Anyways, as always with all writeRs, or most of us at lEast, constuctiVe criticIsms and commEnts Would be appreciated!!!  
  
Thanks for reading! Have a nice day!!!   
  
P. Hatching ^______^v 


End file.
